the Sudden Humility

I found my way to Los Banos last Saturday to salute a good friend of mine. In that particular manner you meet people haphazardly and realize the easy kinship, this is how I felt about him. And I braved unknown roads and the rural expanse to wish him goodbye properly, this quiet, steady friend of mine.

So friends came together that night, beside the pool, booze on the table, to offer him our well-wishing before he leaves for Malaysia. It was unspoken, a hidden acknowledgement between the hearty laughs, warm smiles, and gentle pats on the back.

A friend's blog turned 5 that day, too. And this blogger friend of ours asked us each if, by coming together, our lives have shifted somehow.

When it was my turn, I told the tale of the first connection. The yellowed tale of that one guy that was friendly, accommodating; the one that extended the invitation.

Afterwards, the guys asked me how come I looked so sad. I smiled a wry smile and whispered, "nostalgia".

I realized later it was something else: a sudden humility borne from an overflowing sense of "gratitude". Gay guys need gay friends. In the same way that swans must join their fellow swans, maybe to talk about feathers, or wonder about flight formations, or the taste of fish in the lake.

Being gay is a brave thing, a tough thing. And we do it everyday. I guess there's a certain bravery that comes from the knowledge of having a safe harbor, a respite to come back to after the battles. I see these friends of mine as my safe haven, they are the font of my courage, their assurance and company is the wind that lifts and flurries about the hidden banner waving in my heart.

It's that unsung joy, the feeling of fitting-in. And it is an incomparable happiness when you head out into the wide, infinite Earth and meet strangers you get along with. Great friends, after all, are the world's most precious treasure.

Gratitude is a creation of time and self-awareness. So take a moment and look back on all the days of your life, the quiet, the turbulent. You'll realize that the most unique of these moments are products of collaboration: a hodge-podge of love, camaraderie, and luck.

So thank God for good friends, and the quiet opportunities to tell them so.

BGM: The Corrs - Intimacy