I Always Said Red

Arrogant. It is said that the proudest are also the most ignorant. Where the human mind cannot afford fear, it tends to oversimplify and underestimate instead. It's a weighty thought that bore no meaning to me when I read it once upon a time.

And when I lived a little longer, saw a little farther, I thought this was the world and I knew exactly what I was doing. I believed I knew enough. Presumptuous.

I once said that I couldn't pick a favorite book, movie, or song. Arguing that those who have truly dived into the millennia of human creativity and inspiration could not possibly choose one gem from the whole scintillating body of work. Those who managed to pick just haven't seen enough to compare with.

In Japanese class, for practice, we declare our favorite colors. I always said red. If they had to ask why, I'd, in broken Japanese, explain I like red because it isn't blue. Everyone likes blue and I don't want to be like everyone.

I'm guilty of convincing myself I'm above the usual, that I'm better. It helps with the self-esteem and the confidence. But there are some people that exude strength with such an uninhibited manner. The self-assured. I envy them.

I envy them because they pick colors they like. Because they want to have Harry Potter's babies. Because they've memorized every line of Back to the Future. Because they can Mmmmmbop forevermore--and have tried.

They are the vibrant, the free.

And they are better than me because they are aware of what makes them tick, what gets their juices running, what makes them--them. They know and are intimate with the urges of their heart, the stirrings of their soul.

I think it's time to find out where my inner compass points. Stray from the path and see where my secret dreams could take me--if they'll lead me home.

You have to get lost to find yourself.

Framed by the unfamiliar, we are forced to discover our personal truth.