my cup runneth

I got a glimpse of how people act when they are alone and at their most earnest. Living in a dorm granted me a rare peek into how most people lived their lives. And I've stayed in 2 dorms since I've gotten here in Japan, so a sample size of roughly 30 men and women of varying sizes and ages should lend me an informed generalization on the average day-to-day of the average joe.

And personally, I was shocked to find out that the average joe spends his time in an average way.

Well "duh!", but give me a chance to explain.

By "average", I meant the humane, practical method of going about ones life: sleep when you're tired, go out when you feel like it, do chores when you can. Laugh, love, and live as you like.

But by "shock", I meant I wasn't being humane, nor practical about how I go about my own life: don't sleep enough, head out whenever I could, do as many chores as possible. Laugh, love, and live in every moment of every day.

I do all this because I look up to my friends who get things done. I can't help but feel this deep respect for people who handle things briskly. You can tell, they always have this crisp, business-like tone when they mention what they're currently up to. And I never hear them say "I wish I could." Instead, it's always "Next month I will" or "When I get this done I'll go and" or some variation thereof.

They actively participate in their lives. Instead of "I am alive", they would say "I live."

In my hopes to "live" here in Japan, I brought with me a paradigm of "If I want it, I'll do it" and this has taken me pretty far: I started singing the Psalms solo at the English Sunday mass as part of a Japanese choir; volunteered for a NPO in Shinjuku every Friday distributing various materials on health; took on the new dorm by installing new bulbs, cleaning up the storage and common areas, and taking-up network admin tasks; tackled the Editor in Chief position at the inter-company quarterly magazine.

All this in addition to the two company projects I'm working on at the same time for embedded systems and mobile development, daily exercise schedule, Japanese language studies, daily reading (currently halfway through "Kafka on the Shore") and writing (once a week, sorta) quota, and, of course, a bit of Diablo 3 on the side.

I get all this done somehow day by day, and I plan on doing even more soon. But when I saw how easy life can be with less to pursue, I saw the contrast and am completely, with all heart and soul, overcome by exhaustion, like the debt of all those long hours finally caught up with me.

So, I have to ask myself, am I doing it right? Or should I ask everyone else, are you living at all?

Photo credit: Sam Shere