a tree falls in a forest

While studying Japanese, I came across this wonderful thing called yojijukugo(四字熟語)--Japan's version of idioms, or things so universal(at least in Japan) they coined phrases out of them.  These phrases captured my interest. For someone just starting to grasp a language, finding these expressive shortcuts sped things up. And I get to look smart about it, too, since these phrases have grown esoteric over the years.

My favorite phrase which I learned early in my Japan studies was isshokenmei(一生懸命), whose characters separately mean "in one lifetime (一生)" and "risk one's life (懸命)". Together, isshokenmei describes a method of action where you give it your all, every ounce of effort and passion, every fiber of your being, dedicated and focused into one endeavor.  This word was not only inspirational, it also fit my first attempts at Japanese language.

Now, here in Japan, I learned that the word that I carried with me all this time had relatives.  There were other idioms, and my post-arrival life deserved its own.

Kangaimuryo (感慨無量), a combination of the words for "deep emotion (感慨)" and "immeasurable (無量)", is to be caught in a feeling so arresting, so deeply moving, that words lose meaning.

Outlets of expression are scarce when you move to another country.  The language barrier hinders communication, and the dear friends--who know you so well you hardly have to say a word--are nowhere near.

All of my feelings have grown deep because of this: frustration over apathetic dorm mates, disappointment with possible friends, ennui in work, intoxication with new romance, gratitude for life here.  Such mundane things left unresolved, have taken root and burrowed deep into my conscious thought.

I am burdened, and have no way to say it, in any language.

Photo credit: Institute of Environment Policy and Public Policy, Lancaster University