»» risking it!!

"nah, why risk it?" a friend of mine commented firmly as we discussed love and life along the heavily congested roads leading home. "its too low, the probablity of success, when you actually try to find love. so why bother?" he says, while i stare out the window, trying to remember the stuff that turned me into the generic hopeless romantic.

yeah sure, love-hunting is risky. simply becuase unlike money spent on investments, emotions are the currency exchange for matters of the heart. these emotions are by far more fragile and precious than any other things humans have got to offer. money is easily found, a good ~ehem~ & wealthy friend, a good job, maybe even giving parents, theres a lot more places where ou can get "bread". but what of emotions?

when you invest emotions in something you do, it ceases to be an object, an act, a thought. it becomes a possesion, a will, a care. when invested emotions go wrong, the reimbursement is a pain. but not just any pain easily cured by a few shots or a bonk in the head. damaged emotions when returned is a wound beyond the medicative reach of any conventional medicines, a sort of pang deep inside that you gotta handle yourself.

oh sure. you got understanding friends, loving parents, a very caring significant other. but it wont be enough, they didn't go the extra mile like you did, they didn't throw their care out the window like you did, they didn't get hurt like you did. they didnt get hurt BAD like you did.

maybe this is why first love never dies. when you first love something so deeply and truely, you leave it all behind and just let yourself fall into it. not having felt hurt, betrayal, dissapointment, you innocently plod on and on until you get to the end. good or bad, you gave it your all, because you thought, just like in the movies, you'll get the good ending.

if you did, congrats, if not... it'll never be the same. it'll always be there, the creeping fear up yuor back, the nagging doubt whispering its "if's" and "if not's". your emotions are fragile, and you don't want them getting hrut all over again.

but thats what makes it great! expending your emotions like extra french fries. when you send those emotions out, you get that chance to find that happiness some people call love. however small or miniscule the chance maybe, it's the only way you can fall in love. And if you do and everything finally goes well, well, let's just say i've been informed it's well worth the work.