»» the table turned

How the hell do you handle love? I mean when it's incoming instead of well... outgoing. I'm having a hard time with it really. A hard time probably because of getting used to falling head over heels for someone else faster than I can sanely handle. Always considering how to do the approach and stuff like that. It never really occurred to me how the hell it would feel the other way around.

It's awkward business actually, when someone else falls in love with you. The moment these feelings come to your attention, everything changes. It doesn't feel right anymore, it's as if everything you do from this point onward will have some kind of degree of risk. You now have to dance around someone else's heart, careful not to step on anything too fragile.

But it's great though, in it's own sordid way. There this whole new boost to your self-esteem, when you know someone out theres probably scribbling your name somewhere. Yeah, it's a situation that can definitely be taken advantage of.

So, whats there to be done? To someone who you never thought would come into the picture? Do you hitch along with the ride and see where it takes you? Or reject, since you never really felt anything before, probably never feel anything more. How do you know that when you reject it's not driven by fear? Fear of getting hurt again, forgetting that trouble makes love all the sweeter. When you accept, how do you know you aren't just settling with what you have. Tricking yourself that you don't deserve anymore than what you have, that you don't deserve what you had or ever will.

For me, I'd say, "Go then, with an open mind and an honest heart and hope to God that's enough."