a Sense of Direction

I remember a time when tasks where something that would be done quickly and without much thought. Inordinate jobs that required only a bit of resolve and time to complete. This was mostly in school when all the burden a student has to contend with were the expectations of his professor, which was usually ignored, and those of his parents whose daily work afforded the education and warranted some form of appraisal. Grades, for that matter, was the only issue for me. And soon, it wasn't as important either.

What became important was getting things done. The goal that I yearned for in every dark evening of toiling over physics books, and devoted study over a buggy slice of code was the encompassing feeling of completion. The well-earned emptiness that sits in the minds of those who have crossed the finish line, the catharsis.

I also enjoyed learning a thing or two about how electrons go about their unseen dance, or the sheer joy of rewriting that miscoded line. But above all these little triumphs, it is the triumph of checking out an item in my mental list and looking ahead to new challenges that fuels my constant work. The proof of progress, and the measure of movement.

I've kept to that ideal in my work. A clear list of things to accomplish. The unclear chopped into finer pieces that make more sense. Rinse-repeat with every task and never worry about the overall picture. Because in any job, we all work as a team, and doing your part well is enough if you would do at least one thing right.

Somewhere along the way, that changed. I worry now about the big picture. Work isn't something that is done for 8 hours a week and put aside for a while on weekends. Work, the accomplishment of day-to-day duties, is now not only a measure of movement. I've come to question as well the overall direction.

A friend of mine always advised, "Never work hard"; instead, "work smart". I may have become a victim of the former, like rowing a boat with no rudder, endlessly circling. Pointless movement, and wasted exertion.

Maybe that's the biggest difference between school and work. Correctness isn't as clean cut as a percentage of correct answers, but resides more in the confirmation of invested trust among colleagues, as well as fervent faith in your sense of direction.