Sunday, September 30, 2007

prodigal

Bits of me are falling through the cracks, and though I have the power to bring what was lost back, I hardly have the will. It's turned into a habit, this sickness of mine, to forget myself.

It's been a very productive few weeks, every hour spent doing something or other justifiable goal diligently and with much gusto. The taste of success is neither sweet nor bitter though, but a strange gray smear of bland on my weary tongue. It's like I've walked for miles only to find I'm back where I started.

Nothing has changed...

... except I've lost along that circuitous way some of the things I've held dear: my friends, my identity, my life.

But this is what I wanted. These are my dreams I'm chasing. This is my conscious choice. This is my heart breaking, with compromise nowhere in sight.

I feel like the butt of college's most prejudiced and hurtfully-accurate remarks: "Antaas ng grades nya, siguro loner yan."

And the worst of it is there's no spinning this into some insightfully positive advise. I guess optimism fell through the cracks, too.

16 comments:

  1. dani ok lang yan, ngayon lang yan at ok lang tlga yan kase mabuti naman yang ginagawa mo.labas tayong lahat mga third week of october!

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  2. dani ayus lang yan.... gimik tayo pag free lahat! :)

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  3. i second the lotion. hahahaha parang gago ung hirit. i want oktoberfest!!!! (pero pde bang mag oktoberfest na hindi beer?? hahaha) gusto ko malasing like the old times hahahaha..dani, you are getting somewhere. believe it or not.... and you still have your friends(us)!! (consider that as my mantra hahaha) *huggggg dani* -i- -i- -i-

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  4. gelangenie said: onga, it's been a while T_T
    onga. haha. pag may time labas tayo!

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  5. eeewi said: *huggggg dani* -i- -i- -i-
    >:D< salamat! medyo parang feeling guilty lang ko dahil nde ako makahanap ng oras na pang atin -- parang college. hay hay! siguro naman itong oktober, magbabago na ang lahat!

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  6. mackooo said: oh the drama...
    ... = puyat + lamig + ( <3 / 2 )

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  7. lunakit said: oktoberfest!!!
    san miguel!

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  8. bilybilybily said: dani ok lang yan, ngayon lang yan at ok lang tlga yan kase mabuti naman yang ginagawa mo.labas tayong lahat mga third week of october!
    onga! lalo pa't mukhang meron tayong ice-celebrate ^_^

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  9. chibichiechie said: dani ayus lang yan.... gimik tayo pag free lahat! :)
    onga, it's been a while T_T

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  10. haha! onga! monthly na overnyt-inom haha!

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  11. ^_^ much, kelangan monthly kasi to para nde ko napapadrama ng ganito!

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  12. O.o ngayon ko lang nabasa.feelin a little better ka na naman di ba?

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